I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Quick, to the slutcave!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Houston, we have a squirter
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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