shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So much rum. So many feels.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
