please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
