My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
