I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
