And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
