Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You are the jesus of drinking
We are all done wearing pants today
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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