we have officially lost it.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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