TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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