I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
