The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
