Christians are straight up FREAKS
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
