their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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