I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
