dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
