You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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