I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize