All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
