he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
