Midget sex pt 2 tonight
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
