Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
