so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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