Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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