Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
