in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
