I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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