I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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