Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
