Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
