I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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