His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
