Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
