you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
