i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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