dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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