Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
