covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
