i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
