I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You may now shotgun with the bride
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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