I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
