Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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