why didn't you poke me back
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
