so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
