CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Pants are for mortals
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
