And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
