absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Randomize
