playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
