You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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