guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
