I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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